Frankly, part of me wanted to write an article that featured nothing but the female phenom who was the lead character and part of me wanted a complete refund of my ticket price.
Hence the name of the article...the movie was a breath of fresh water. Although the water wasn't polluted, I do prefer to breathe air when possible.
So, to do the movie full justice, I've put together 3 reasons that you should/shouldn't see this thrilling disappointment. (This is FULL of spoilers, by the way, so don't read it if you haven't seen it and don't want to be slammed with spoilers.)
1.) Did I Just See a Rerun?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but this was the movie:
A lead character on a desert-like planet comes into the possession of a key piece of information tucked in a cute droid.
Although she doesn't want to leave the planet, she is forced to by ne'er-do-wells who are after the same information.
The rebel alliance is being, more or less, head up by very familiar, yet older, set of characters.
The bad guys are being, more or less, head up by a black clad guy with a dark helmet who reports to a mysterious wrinkled up manipulator of the dark side.
Dark side meets light side, fathers and grandfathers are revealed (including two "light siders" giving birth to a "dark sider"), and a young hero is revealed.
The "Death Station", for lack of a better term, is larger than it's predecessor, the "Death Star", and has a much larger weak spot to be exploited.
The light side wins, the dark side loses, the "Death Station" has its one weakness exploited, and there are 200 untied loose ends that require another sequel to tie them up.
Other than a couple of small changes, like a Stormtrooper who has a change of heart, wasn't this just a rerun of Episode IV? Was the largest opening for a movie IN HISTORY nothing more than a rerun with better special effects?
2.) Was the Casting Director Schizophrenic?
I am not sure I have ever seen a cast so filled with superstars and absolute catastrophes. Here's a quick overview of a couple of key characters and a "casting grade" of A - F.
Chewbacca: He was...well...a Wookie. He seemed on par with his previous movies.
Grade: A
Han Solo/Harrison Ford: For some reason they tried to make every line of his funny. It didn't work. They took a perfectly good character and forced him into the role of a comedian. It's not Harrison's fault, he did what they asked of him, it's just that even he couldn't pull it off.
Grade: B
Leia Organa/Carrie Fisher: This character was pulled off very well. She came across as nothing more than an older Princess, which is what she was supposed to do.
Grade: A
Poe Cameron/Oscar Isaac: As the lead role in 'Ex Machina' he was superb. There was not a single flaw in his role or his acting. The problem is that this wasn't 'Ex Machina'. He seemed all over the board and, somehow, not ready for this hero type of role.
Grade: C
Finn/John Boyega: What a find! He can go from serious to funny in a heartbeat. He's good looking. He played the part of a Stormtrooper with a conscious, which had to be difficult, and he did it well. I hope to see him in many Star Wars movies to come (because we all know there will be.)
Grade: A
Kylo Ren/Adam Driver: EASILY the biggest disappointment in the movie. I know he was supposed to play a character who was torn between his good and evil side, and that he was supposed to be evil, and that he is supposedly a good actor, but he stank up this movie good and proper. I know you're supposed to judge the acting, not the person, but how can you make judgement about one without making implications about the other? So, let me try to be nice. He could have NEVER fit the role of a bad guy. His voice was all wrong, he didn't have "the look" (don't pretend you don't know what I mean), and his acting just wasn't good. He couldn't pass for a good guy because of all of the same reasons. He was just all around a bad choice for the part.
Grade: F-
Rey/Daisy Ridley: How can the same people who picked Adam Driver to be Kylo Ren be the same people who picked Daisy Ridley to be Rey? This woman is AWESOME! It's like she was born for the role. Her acting was SO good, she carried that movie DESPITE the terrible job by Adam Driver and Oscar Isaac. She is a hero's hero and proves that you don't need a man as your leading character. Daisy, I salute you. I fully expect to see you, and John Boyega take the Star Wars franchise to a new level.
Grade: A++
The bottom line here is that the casting crew really hit both ends of the acting spectrum when they picked this crew. Let's just hope that Kylo Ren stays dead and Poe Cameron gets reassigned to a rebel force we don't see.
3.) Where Can They Go From Here? A good friend of mine was quoted as saying, "I waited all these years for this 'deja vu' movie?" I have to agree. It's almost like everyone was sitting at a table and said, "We need to put out a Star Wars before we're all lynched. My idea is to put together a rerun that is marketed as a new movie because it has new actors."
One of my true beliefs in life is that there are 2 people involved in every lousy decision:
1.) The person who comes up with the idea.
2.) The person who says, "Yea, that's a great idea!"
I think we know who those two people are in this particular decision.
That being said, where do they go from here? It took them 10 years to make this questionable film and it had no original concepts in it. I have little faith that this next gap between movies is going to yield anything wonderful.
For those who don't know it, here is the release schedule for upcoming films:
Sequel Trilogy:
Star Wars Episode VII: December 18, 2015
Star Wars Episode VIII: May 26, 2017
Star Wars Episode IX: May 24, 2019
Anthology Films:
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story: December 16, 2016
Untitled Han Solo film: May 25, 2018
Untitled Boba Fett film: 2020
Other Films:
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: August 15, 2008
I can't help but blame myself for my feelings on this movie. It has been so built up, and expectations have been so high, I'm not sure there could have been any movie that hit my own expectations. So, I take partial blame for my so-so feelings on the film.
Until next time, May the Farce Be With You.
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