Before I begin, however, let’s look at what typically happens in your typical comic book.
The heroes from any given universe finish up with one disaster, mend the city, have time for a meeting, and are then informed of another disaster taking place.
Luckily, villains seem to be on a schedule and don’t strike at the same time. It seems that while Dr. Doom is attacking, the Red Skull is busy hatching a plan that won’t be ready to go until Dr. Doom has been defeated. Of course, at that point Galactus is on the other side of the galaxy and will make his way toward Earth only to arrive after the Red Skull has been defeated. The same thing happens in the DC Universe as well as others.
But what if the villains, due to a technical glitch, all struck on the same day? More importantly, let’s say that the villains from DC don’t wait until the villains from Marvel are done attacking? Everyone’s protecting the same Earth, right? So, shouldn’t villains and heroes cross over during attacks?
Let’s start with a typical day where we find Electro fighting Spider-Man for some random reason:
Electro: Spider-Man, your time has come! I have finally found a way to defeat you!
Spider-Man: Electro, what could you possibly want this time? Haven’t I beaten you enough?
Electro: I must own all of the frozen toothpaste in the world! You can’t stop me!
Spider-Man: Wait...frozen what? Why would you..... (he stops and looks up surprised)
Electro: What are you looking at?
Spider-Man: Is that Doomsday? I thought he was DC. What’s he doing here?
Electro: I’m not really sure. There’s got to be a copyright or trademark infringement here somewhere. Someone call Stan Lee!
Doomsday: Electro? Spider-Man? I thought this was....(he looks around in surprise)...Metropolis.
Spider-Man: Nope. Wrong town. Wrong comic, even. (looking up again, amazed, he sees the Hulk coming out of the sky)
Hulk: Hulk smash!!
Spider-Man: Now wait just one minute....
Electro: Hmmm....do I fight Spider-Man or do I try to get rid of the other villains? Are you guys looking to corner the frozen toothpaste market? That’s all I really wanted.
Doomsday: The frozen what? No, you can have that. I’m here to destroy Metropolis.
Spider-Man: Again, I think you’re in the wrong place.
Hulk: Hulk smash!!
Spider-Man: Is this a Groot type of thing? “Hulk smash” means something different each time? Never mind.
Green Lantern: I heard there were problems in this Sector! Wow. What’s everyone doing here?
Electro: I was just leaving.
Spider-Man: Well, that’s one gone.
Doomsday: I really just want to get on with destroying the city.
Hulk: Hulk smash!
Batman: (winded from running) I came as soon as I heard!
Green Lantern: I’m anxious to hear what you heard about this.
Spider-Man: Shouldn’t all of you be in another comic?
Batman: I heard that the Outlook calendar on the Villain network was having issues.
Red Skull: (stepping out of the shadows) There are no issues! I specifically had conquering the Earth set for 2:00 pm today!
Galactus: (appearing in the sky) That can’t be right, I had devouring the Earth set for 2:00 pm today.
Flash: (showing up in a blur) I came as soon as I heard!
Spider-Man: What...is this being Tweeted? What is everyone hearing?
Flash: I got the text that Outlook is having issues.
Spider-Man: Why aren’t I getting these (shaking his iPod and looking at it quizzically)
Flash: Do you have it on airplane mode?
Spider-Man: Darnit! Why do I always do that? OK, I’m on the same page now.
Reed Richards: (walking up calmly) I don’t mean to interrupt, but I’m working on the fix right now. It should be OK shortly.
Doomsday: Listen, times a’wastin here. I have another planet I’m supposed to destroy in 2 hours.
Red Skull: Let’s do this the right way and take a vote. Which villain would you heroes like to fight right now?
Green Lantern: I’m not fussy, but I think Galactus would be the toughest to beat. I vote Red Skull.
Hulk: Hulk smash!
Flash: I agree with Green Lantern, I vote for the Red Skull.
Batman: Doomsday, is there any way you could go destroy the planet now and then come back after we beat the Red Skull?
Doomsday: But I was already at this end of the universe.
Galactus: Reed, where are the rest of the Fantastic Four?
Reed Richards: They are at their regular jobs. How do you think we pay for all of this stuff?
Galactus: I just don’t feel right devouring the Earth without all of you here. No offense to you Justice Leaguers.
Batman/Flash/Green Lantern: None taken.
Reed Richards: They should all be available tomorrow for the whole day.
Galactus: Do you heroes think you can take out the Red Skull by midnight tonight? Then we can all go home and get a good night’s sleep and fight tomorrow.
Thanos: (just showing up and looking around at everyone sitting and talking) What gives here?
Starro: (also just arriving on the scene and giving a heavy sigh) Don’t tell me, the Outlook issue?
(everyone nods their heads)
Starro: I knew I should have sent a herald ahead.
Doomsday: Listen, I just called the planet I’m supposed to destroy and they’re not doing anything right now, so I’ll just do that and come back.
Green Lantern: Is anyone protecting them right now?
Doomsday: No, so it shouldn’t take long. I can come back the day after tomorrow.
Red Skull: So, then I’ll attack now, Galactus will come back tomorrow and Doomsday will be the day after?
Thanos: Great. Push me off until next week.
Starro: You? I travelled 200 light years to get here. Do you know how much gas that takes? I’m calling the Outlook help desk right now and giving them a piece of my mind.
Thanos: Then that should definitely take until next week.
Hulk: Hulk smash!
Spider-Man: I don’t do weekends anymore so Thanos and Starro will have to wait until Monday. By the way, did Electro leave?
(incoming text: Budapest Frozen Toothpaste Factory raided. Everything taken.)
Spider-Man: Never mind.
Reed Richards: OK, everything seems to be working with the calendar now. Is everyone set with their schedule?
Galactus: I’m set. Does the Marriott have any rooms available for tonight? I’ll just stay over.
Doomsday: OK everyone, I’m on my way. I have a planet to enslave.
Red Skull: I hear that....
Spider-Man: I’m glad this is settled. My spider-sense has given me a migraine.
Batman: Alfred, book Galactus and I a room at the downtown Marriott. King size bed for Galactus.
Red Skull: Is it OK if we start now? I have thousands of troops waiting to attack and we haven’t even had lunch yet.
Spider-Man: That’s fine. Green Lantern, Flash, can you stay with Batman and I and try to wrap this up by midnight?
Green Lantern: I’m good, I can hang around.
Flash: I have to run home and set my DVR to record Walking Dead. OK, I’m back.
Spider-Man: Hulk, can you go smash another town and we’ll just come clean it up later? If you do it far enough away from here we have plausible deniability.
Hulk: Hulk smash! (he jumps over the horizon)
Starro: I’m on vacation next week so I’ll attack the week after if that’s OK.
Thanos: Cool! Where are you going?
Starro: It’s a stay-cation. I have a bunch of chores to do for the wife.
Thanos: I know the feeling. Between conquering civilizations and scheming I have no time to cut the lawn.
Batman: I can recommend a lawn guy. Starro, we’ll see you in two weeks and Thanos in three. Can you both send us a meeting planner?
Starro/Thanos: Sure thing.
Red Skull: Are we good to go? Great! ALL MINIONS ATTACK!
Outside the realm of reality? Not in our high tech world. I often wonder if team-ups weren’t just the result of two villains, or heroes, showing up at the same time and just figuring “what the heck” and working together. All I know is that I’m glad that the artists and writers have the attack schedules firmly in their heads or else we might see something like this in the not so distant future.
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