The Top 13 Superhero Vehicles

Throughout all the movies and TV shows we get a great deal of exposure to the superheroes and the cities they live in.  What we don’t always get to appreciate is what gets them from point A to point B...their vehicles.  I have to admit, with the low salaries of some of these characters, or seemingly no income at all (where does Mr. Fantastic get the money for all that cool stuff?) I sometimes wonder how they can afford to build, gas-up, and insure these vehicles.  No matter how they do it, I confess that I want one of each.

I realize that I normally do Top 10 lists, but there are so many cool vehicles that I had to boost it to 13 (because the Batmobiles take up 3 spots).  I hope you enjoy them all.

Here is The Comic Whisperer’s Top 13 Superhero Vehicles.  The list is in no particular order.

13.)  SR-71 Blackbird:  Yes, the baby bird that takes the X-Men wherever they want to go.  Especially if they want to get there in a hurry, unseen, and looking stylish.  With all the right looks for a mutant world saving mission or maybe just taking it for a spin the SR-71 rounds out the Top 13 list.

12.)  The SHIELD Helicarrier:  One of the scenes that really blew me away in Captain America:  The Winter Soldier was when they were showing off the Helicarriers.  Absolutely amazing computer generated graphics.  I have to admit, I don’t own a pilot’s license nor do I know anyone who does, but this would be cool to have even just to drive you car on and do donuts in the clouds.  But I digress.  This floating fortress is the size of my hometown and has the capacity to carry most of an army, or kind-of contain the Hulk.  The best part?  You never have to worry about having a flat tire.

11.)  The Punisher’s GTO:  For readers 30 and below this car may not mean a great deal to you.  Let me assure you, however, that this is one of the all time classic muscle cars.  It has the loud, rumbling engine, rear wheel drive and a staggering 10 miles to the gallon.  This car with the killer paint job, and a Doomsday feel, makes this car #11 on the list.  My advice?  If the Punisher asks how you voted, I’d tell him you thought it should be #1.  I’ll take the heat for you.

10.)  Ghostbuster ECTO - 1:  Loosely defined, the Ghostbusters are a true blue set of superheroes.    This 1959 Cadillac/ECTO-1 is a true icon in movie history and sports enough space to carry all that equipment and the backpack thingys that they use to catch ghosts.  I’d buy one of these in a heartbeat.

69.)  The Fantasticar:  This people mover has had many iterations with the most recent one being the best.  Featuring a photon accelerator and an ion generator for propulsion, three cockpits, a bullet proof exterior and, well, it can fly.  I will reserve my opinion of the cast, the movie, and pathetic storylines for another blog.

8.)  The Original Batmobile:  This list could be littered with Batmobiles alone.  I don’t know how many iterations there were of the Batmobile, but I can think of 5 off the top of my head.  Based around a Lincoln Futura Show Car, some of its lines are meant to look like a Mako Shark.  Tell me if I miss anything, but this car has lasers, rockets, a Batphone, radar, a Bat-tering Ram, a Batcomputer, a smoke emitter, a rear facing camera, a police beacon, two parachutes, a voice control Batmobile Relay Unit, and the Bat-Ray.  I wonder if they were options or if they came standard on this car.

7.)  The Tim Burton Batmobile:  Get used to these because this one won’t be the last Batmobile on the list.  It certainly helps to be a billionaire, doesn’t it Bruce?  This beauty has a fully functioning gas turbine, two Browning machine guns, a grappling hook, a Batdisc Ejector, smoke emitters, oil slick guns and bulletproof shielding.  Don’t forget about it’s ability to jettison it’s sides and become a Batmissle (or whatever it’s called, its got to be “Bat” something...)  I’m not sure if I should drive it or hang it on my wall.  This bad boy is a true work of art.

6.)  The Hellcycle:  This was one of the saving graces of the Ghost Rider movies.  Frankly, if the special effects weren’t so good these movies would have been complete garbage.  This tank of a bike is a 12 foot long half-bone, half-metal bike that looks good with or without the fire.  The ability of this bike goes beyond that of any Batmobile.  This baby can leap long distances and come out of nowhere, it can ride up buildings, bomb it over water, and stays lit the whole time.  The producer of Ghost Rider said, and I quote, the bike is “the epitome of how fun hell can be.”  

5.)  The Red Mist Mobile:  Largely overlooked in the vehicle category, just like the movie which was largely overlooked in the entertainment category, this car rocks.  This suped-up Mustang is looking slick...unlike the driver.  It’s got sat-nav, an iPhone hookup, mood lighting, a rear-view camera, and it’s got...well...the mist.  The ability to squirt water out of its bonnet had to be an add-on. The only drawback?  You have to stop every block and a half to fill up your gas tank and water for the mist which makes it a lousy getaway car.

4.)  The Herkimer Battle Jitney:  Who could forget this little number from Mystery Men?  It has a giant electro-nuclear magnet, and several tonnes of villainy-squashing awesomeness.  Honestly, this contraption is probably the most non-lethal thing on the road.  I’d bet against it in a fight against a Pinto.  Frankly, it looks like it doesn’t handle very well either, or corner, or parallel park and it’s probably got low trade-in value.

3.)  Captain Nemo’s Otto Mobile:  This ranks up there as my favorite car in this list.  Just look at the style and metalwork on this thing.  No, it doesn’t have the gadgets or ejector seats some of the others have, but it does have a trick up it’s tailpipe.  Nemo can track it remotely, allowing it to serve as the beacon he needs to fire his missiles accurately.  Actually, that’s pretty useless except for very rare scenarios, so forget I revealed that one.  My only question is how does that thing steer with four wheels up front?  Although it’s my favorite I’d need to take it for a test drive before I applied for financing.

2.)   The Black Beauty:  Remember this lovely little piece of mechanical death?  The Green Hornet invested in all the right gimmicks when he put together this beautiful car.  It has a GM Performance ZZ454 500 hp crate motor and Race Trans Turbo 400 manual valve body transmission.  I know it’s a fact but I have no clue if all of that is good or bad.  Weapons-wise there are mini-guns that pop out of the hood, it has suicide doors with 12-Guage AR-15 machine guns, an m2 flamethrower in the front grill, 12 front and rear stinger missiles, giant spikes that come out of the wheels, and all the bulletproofing one could want.  If it had a luggage rack to carry all of the dead bodies it would be perfect.

1.)  The Tumbler/The Batpod:  It hurts me to do so, but I have to add one more Batmobile.  This may be the best of them all.  A prototype military vehicle, this baby is meant to leap over otherwise unbridgeable gaps.  The designer said he was going for “a cross between a Lamborghini and a tank”.  If you think the Batpod is awesome you’ll love the Tumbler.  It can travel through office block corridors, flip around lampposts, and scoot up walls.  It’s a two-in-one deal that any self respecting male should have parked in his driveway.

This list is far from complete.  It left off goodies like the motorcycle that Wolverine took from Cyclops and the Optimus Prime tractor trailer truck.  In the end it’s all in what you like and what you would love sent to you as a birthday gift.

Follow the Comic Whisperer at his other locations:

Facebook as The Comic Whisperer

Twitter as @comic_whisperer

Instagram as The Comic Whisperer

Website:  www.comicwhisperer.com