Questions That I REALLY Would Love To Have Answered

Let’s start by getting something out of the way; reading comic books forces you to turn your “Logic-Meter” off.  The fact that I have any questions goes against the whole point of comic books.  If I buy into the whole idea that a man can fly, can lift buildings, and is bullet-proof, I have no right to question anything else, right?  Wrong.

As geeks we have the right to choose whatever piece of fantasy we want and question it.  Call it a fringe benefit of geekdom.

“Out of this entire collection of logic defying pages and unrealistic fantasies I choose to pick just one fallacy, act as if it’s a fact, and question it.”

It’s my right as a nerd.

Come with me as I exercise my constitutionally guaranteed right to take an illogical situation and question it like it has a scientific basis in reality.

1.)  How do characters like Mr. Fantastic generate the money to finance things like the Baxter Building?

If I’ve missed the issues where Mr. Fantastic goes to work for the local Ice Cream Shoppe to earn a paycheck that allows him to finance expeditions to the negative zone, please tell me.

2.)  Do people like Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne have “selective IQ”?

If you need a detailed plan to defeat every member of the Justice League or the plans for creating and building “Anti-Transformer” armor, Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark can do it.  We’ve even seen the creation of Shark Repellant and a supremely intelligent AI systems like Jarvis from that same duo.  Yet, Tony can’t find a way to keep a lone piece of shrapnel from killing him and Bruce can’t figure out a way to keep the Joker locked up for more than 15 minutes at a time.  Odd.

3.)  In one storyline we see The Thing with two kids, both with the same rocky exterior as their old man.

How did he and his wife...I mean how big of an epidural did she...the kids appeared to be twins, how were they...I think you know where I’m going with this.  The whole act of consummation, and the 9 months following, were probably as difficult as me asking about it.

4.)  What really happened at the end of “The Killing Joke”?

Oh, right, like you know the answer.  (C’mon, just tell me, plllllleeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee!!!!)

5.)  Are there really any other superheroes necessary than Hulk and Zatanna?

Since everything she says backwards becomes a reality and it appears that nothing whatsoever can hurt Hulk, why doesn’t he just guard her as she casts spells?  Once she says, “syug dab eht fo dir teG” then, “kluH eht evlossiD”  There could just be a Zatanna series about how she is the ruler of a peaceful planet, then after 3 weeks it could be discontinued due to boredom, and that would be that.

6.)  What insurance companies would still be willing to insure Gotham, Metropolis, Star City, the Baxter Building, etc. after all this time?

What Civil War really should have been about was the insurance companies arguing about who would insure all of these places and what the deductibles would be.  Couldn’t you see them arguing about what wasn’t covered?  And, how overworked would the insurance adjusters be?

7.)    With few exceptions, such as Captain Marvel dying of cancer, why don’t we see more everyday issues plaguing the heroes and villains?

Why don’t we see Flash wearing a knee brace or having tendonitis?  How does Batman not have arthritis in his back by now?  Does a Green Lantern every need a ring resized?  Does Killer Croc ever get pruney skin because he’s in the water too long?  Why doesn't Namor ever get ‘swimmer’s ear’?  Shouldn’t Iron Man rust at some point?  Why doesn’t Spider-Man or Black Panther have problems breathing through their facemask?  

So, I get an overdose of gamma radiation, bitten by a radioactive spider, see my parents gunned down in front of me, or shot from an exploding planet and I don’t suffer the indignities of the human condition anymore?  Sign me up!

8.)  How many mutants are there and, for that matter, how many X-Men are there?

In the Marvel Universe it seems that, as a mutant, if you aren’t an X-Man or working for Magneto, you don’t exist.  I think if you eliminate everyone who is not an Avenger, a former Avenger, an X-Person, or in some way connected to X-People, there may only be 2 or 3 people left on earth.  I truly think that’s why Marvel was eventually forced to do AvX.  There was no-one else.

9.)  Is there really any logical explanation as to why Alan Scott (the old, old, old Green Lantern) had a ring that had no effect on wood?

I’ve read the explanation a couple of times and I am still baffled.  Is there a wood expert in the house?

Listen, I wasn’t hired for my good looks or my brains.  Frankly, I wasn’t hired at all, that’s why I run the place.

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Did You Tell Me To Go To Shell?

It's an interesting argument that is going on nowadays.  What appraiser should be used for accurate grading and do you want your appraised comic in a Shell that, if opened, voids the appraisal?  I have heard, and read, both sides of the argument and needed to take a stand on the shell, the large appraisal companies, and what those same companies are doing to the comic industry.

First, I have to praise Metropolis Comics and Collectibles.  When I do a search on "comic appraising" or "comic appraisals",  Metropolis Comics and Collectibles is the first to come up.  That is either incredible search engine optimization (SEO) management or it's just that so many searches are made on them it puts them near the top.  My vote is that they do some incredible SEO management.  Either way, my hat is off to Metropolis Comics and Collectibles.  I'd like to go there just to tip my hat in person.

The funny thing is that the big appraisal houses aren't even on the first page of the search.  Neither is the Comic Whisperer, mind you, but we don't even have a site up yet.

Now, let's talk numbers really quick, they will be used to prove a point:

In order for CGC to do their "Modern" service they estimate turnaround time at 20 business days.  BUT their current turnaround time, according to their website, is 55 business days.

Cost?  $18 per book, with the book only being allowed to have an estimated value of $200.

For the "Modern Fast Track" service the estimated turnaround time is 10 business days.  BUT their current turnaround time, according to their website, is 25 business days.

Cost?  $28 per book, again with the maximum value of $200.

So, let me see if I get this right, their current turnaround time for the "Fast Track" is LONGER than their estimated turnaround time for the "Modern" service of 20 business days, but you are paying $10 more per book.

Don't forget the $5 "handling fee" per invoice that applies to all grading tiers.

Let's do some more math.  CGC claims to have over 100,000 comics submitted to them per year.

If we make the assumption that they don't work on weekends (which you can bet on) we can estimate that they work approximately 22 business days per month.  22 x 12 is 264 working days per year.  BUT WAIT!  Don't forget holidays.  Companies offer between 10 and 17 holidays per year.  Let's go with 10.  264-10=254 working days per year.  Check my math.

So, we take 100,000 comics divided by 254 days per year and we get...um...394 (actually 393.7) comics going through their door per business day.

Assuming an 8 hour work day you have 394 divided by 8 and we get...hmmm...49 (49.25 actually) comics being graded per hour.  Keep in mind that each comic goes through 3 different people looking at it before being graded.  So, let's say your comic gets some incredible levels of attention and you have 3 people taking a total of 1 hour to look at it.  That's 147 people looking at 1 comic per hour (49 comics per hour times 3 people doing the grading).  How do they pay for all that?  Wait, they don't...you do.

Although I could go into the other big house, it's a lot of the same, just different prices.

So, after they're done, they put your comic is a custom designed shell with all sorts of gadgets and doohickeys that keep it from being opened.  You pay for that too.  But should you do a shell at all?  Here are the two side of the argument:

TO SHELL:  If you are submitting a comic that you intend to sell there is no better way to confirm value than to have it appraised and have it in a shell with the grading right on it.  To make it even better, as long as the seal isn't broken the appraisal will always be considered accurate.  If I then look in a pricing guide I can make the grade to a price and put it up for sale.  Another advantage is preservation.  If I have a $5,000 comic and I don't want anything to happen to it, the shell is an excellent way to preserve your comic.  There is no doubt that for the person selling the comic or preserving a comic, this may be a good choice.

NOT TO SHELL:  If you're a comic collector like me, you read your comics.  You enjoy them.  It's why you bought it in the first place.  You may even go so far as to bag and board them in a quality bag with a quality board.  You then keep them in a box in a dry cool place.  I can pull out a comic from 20 years ago that I bagged and boarded and it will be in the same shape it was when I got it and without a shell.  The key part?  I can read it, put it back in, and not have to pay to get it reappraised.  I know I didn't damage it, and I know the value didn't change, so why all the fuss?  If I really want to sell them, non-shelled books take top dollar all the time on buyer boards, eBay, etc.

The choice is yours and there are advantages either way, but there is a catch that not many are aware of...so let me fill you in.

The big comic appraising houses can sway the marketplace.  In one of my previous posts I talked about my own test with the two big houses where the same comic was was graded different and the grades were 1.0 full point apart (see my previous post Comic Book Appraising...Why People Need To Think Twice About Who Does The Appraising).

So, let's use the example from that blog...the same comic came back from one appraisal house at a 7.2,  the same comic came back from the second appraisal house at a grade of 8.4.  A difference of 1.2 points.  That is over a 10% difference on the 10 point grading scale.

But how could that effect the industry?  By swaying the prices garnered by those comics and possibly devaluating them.

Let's look at Captain America #100.  According to Comic Book Realm, our favorite pricing site, that comic at an 8.4 (or VF+) is valued at $900.  But if you go by the grading of 7.2 (or F/VF) you get a value of $550.  That's a difference of $350 that's a remarkable 38% difference!  And, take my word for this, if we are talking Action Comics #1, the price difference is closer to $1,100,000.  Ouch!

So, when these comics are let go into the marketplace they can swing pricing dramatically and overvalue or undervalue comics.  Think of it this way.  If you and one other person showed up for auction, and the same comic (but two copies) went up for sale would you rather buy the 8.4 or the 7.2?  Would you rather be the seller for the 8.4 or the 7.2?

Will it make a sweeping change that will destroy the industry?  No. Is the pricing and turnaround time for 2 different ratings on the same comic out of hand?  Sure it is.  Metropolis Comics and Collectibles offers to give your comic the once over and give an estimated appraisal for FREE.  How far off would it be from the big houses, not much.

But the fault for all of this lies with the sellers and buyers.  Yes, those of you who INSIST on a shelled, big appraisal house, grading.  I was in a pawn shop recently and I asked if he carried comic books.  He said that he didn't and, if he did, he would insist on grading from CGC.  It's a shame really.

Am I saying the big houses are not worth it or they should step aside for your hometown appraisers?  No, there are needs that are met thoroughly and easily by them.  Should they be the only grades worth working with?  Not when they can be separated by 1.2 they're not.