Sell it all! Two weeks ago, if possible.

It hurts me to say this, but:

If you own a comic book store or you are looking to get any type of return on your comic book “investments”,  sell now.

The industry as we know it will be unrecognizable 5 years from now and not in a good way.

The readers of this blog aren’t dumb, you know that sales of any consumer goods have their peaks and valleys.

Look at Apple.  20 years ago you couldn’t give their stock away.  The computers were priced very high and they were known as computers graphic designers used, not corporations.  If you held on to your Apple stock, however, you are probably doing well on the investment.

Comic books are also hitting their peak right now.  The movies are coming out, the cartoons are all over the place, DC has all but cornered the market on animated motion pictures, and product licensing is running rampant.

But don’t let it fool you, it’s already hit it’s peak....you’re now looking at the downside of the comic industry as we know it.

Why?  It’s simple, really.  The bean counters are running the show at the Big 2 and all they are interested in is the almighty dollar.  The problem is no one appears to understand that it’s an industry that survives on originality and collectibility.  Neither of which the Big 2 have sustained.  Let’s look at some examples:

-The Fantastic Four franchise, the literal first family of comic books has been made a joke of in both comic books and the movies.  Has anyone ever looked forward to a Fantastic Four movie once the first one proved to be just this side of mediocre?  Does anyone even care if there is ever another Fantastic Four movie?  How many more times will Marvel license out to a company that could care less what they do to the brand in production?

-The #1 of virtually any series anymore is rarely a #1.  With DC and Marvel “resetting” their respective universes they are releasing a whole new series of #1 comics....again.  How many more #1 X-People and Justice League of Whatever can there be?  How many different uniforms, haircuts and power-sets can Superman have?  How many times are we going to clone Peter Parker and reinvent the story behind Spider-Man?  How many more of Batman’s family members can the Joker kill?  It’s getting to be a joke (pun intended).

-It’s a matter of supply and demand.  Many collectors will know exactly what Silver and Bronze Age comics to buy.  The first appearance of Wolverine, Hulk, Thor...any of the classic characters really, is valuable for one reason:  there just aren’t that many out there and even fewer that are in great condition!  If there were still 5 million copies of the #1 Spider-Man, and they were all in Near Mint condition, it just wouldn’t have the same value.  Today, the market is flooded with #1s and places like eBay make them easy to come by if you miss them in a store.  Why do you think variants were introduced?  Fewer of the variants makes them more valuable.  But, trust me, the well is running dry.  The desire to sell as many as possible makes current and future value remarkably bad.

-The lack of creativity is maddening.  I know people who have stopped reading Marvel comics because of the blatant money grabbing involved with Secret Wars.  Seriously, how many different comic storylines can one series have?  I also know people who have stopped reading DC because of the lackluster ending to Convergence.  I know I’ve mentioned this in other blogs, but changing a character’s sex or race or religion does not count as creativity.  So, what do you have to look forward to as a Marvel fan?  Will Iron Man design his 1,916th armor?  Maybe one that has a Coke machine built-in for mid-fight refreshment?  If you’re a DC fan are you anticipating yet another Justice League, maybe Justice League Geriatric for the older heroes?  I will give credit where credit is due, Telos, Secret Six and New Suicide Squad by DC are fantastic, so kudos to DC for at least trying to make something different (yes, I know that Suicide Squad and Secret Six have been out many times before, but there are differences with the new ones and they are outstanding).  And, seriously, if I read another interview with “creators” who say they are doing something “new”, I ’m going to scream.

-Last is product licensing.  What product can you buy today that doesn’t have some sort of comic book hero twist?  Build-a-Bear has a superhero line of teddy bears.  You can get toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, bubble bath, and any other type of hygiene products with some superhero or another.  Listen, I’m not complaining.  I love superheroes all over my house, but talk about diluting your brand!  My son even has Avengers Cereal in our pantry.  Do you know there are a number of sports stars that limit the number of autographs they give out or jerseys sold?  It keeps them valuable.  It keeps people looking for them and paying good money for them.  

Please don’t get me wrong, I have been a collector for 45 years and still look for Superman stuff to put around the house, but if you are looking to make money on your comic book stuff....sell it...like right now.

But I digress...

So, who will win in the end?  Company’s like Image.  Company’s that come out with new creations often and allow their creators to keep the rights to their creations.  It wouldn’t surprise me to see Image become the top comic company in the next 5 - 10 years.  Although The Walking Dead has been commercialized, it hasn’t been overdone.

Would I like to see an Autumnlands:  Tooth and Claw movie?  Absolutely!  Do I want the characters on a band-aid, not so much.

Place your bets on the future of the “heir apparent” Image Comics.  It’s where my money is.

Disclaimer:  I do not work for, nor do I own any part of Image Comics.  This is my opinion only and does not, but should, represent the opinion of a majority of the planet.

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Bad Guys, Your Mom and Semantics

“Reason" according to the dictionary is defined as:

Noun:  a cause, explanation, or justification for an action or event.

“Excuse" according to the dictionary is defined as:

Noun:  a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

“Semantics" according to the dictionary is defined as:

Noun:  the meaning of a word, phrase, sentence, or text.

I was reading the latest “New Suicide Squad” last night and saw something that applies to bad guys, your mom, and comics, not necessarily in that order.  The topic today is the difference between “Reason” and “Excuse”.  Frankly, it’s all just “Semantics”.  But let’s look closer.

If you’ve read the latest “New Suicide Squad” Annual (actually, it’s not just the latest, it’s the first one.) you will see yet another group trying to take over the world.

This time it’s a subset of the League of Assassins.

This particular subset is trying to bring about a change that, let’s say, outlaws the simple things in life such as freedom of speech, the ability to think for yourself, and worst of all...recess!  I do agree with one thing on their agenda and that is more, and better, education.  It’s not fun that it goes all year ‘round for the kids, and there are no summer breaks, and recess isn’t allowed, and....well, you get the idea.  In the midst of it all, however, Harley Quinn does her best to cheer the kids up.

But I digress...

There are the usual panels where people are overworked, and killed, etc.  There are also the usual panels where the people say, “I’m sick of excuses!!” at which point someone usually gets shot as an example to others.  Did you ever notice that no one ever says, “I’m sick of reasons!!”.

I put the definitions up top so you can see the subtle difference.  The “Reason” is justification for an action or event whereas the “Excuse” is to justify a fault of offense.  So let’s take an example.

“I’m sorry sir!  I can no longer work in your iron mine due to the fact that you have not fed me (ever) and I am only allowed 1 hour of sleep a week, sir!  I need water and a Twinkee.”

In my mind this is a pretty good “reason” for being unable to work in an iron mine.  It is not a fault or offense, right?  The person is tired, famished, and needs water and a Twinkee!  But what does the bad guy say?

“No Excuses!  Get back to work or die like the others!"

Now let’s look at this from a different angle.  Would the bad guy really sound like a bad guy if he said, “That’s not a good reason!  Get back to work or die like the others!”.

It IS a good reason!

Can we agree that the famished, tired worker gave a “reason” not an “excuse”?  It really is an issue of semantics.

Excuse, however, is often conveniently used in real life.  If I am late to work for the 17th time in 17 days, and I claim today that it was due to a flat tire, is that an “excuse” or a “reason”?  The flat tire is an action to be justified, but if I’m late to work all the time it could be an “excuse” to justify my ‘fault’ of always being late at work.  See!  It’s semantics!  (Isn’t it nice to know you will always learn something when reading this blog?)

My theory is that “reason” has a much softer sound to it and “excuse” has the hard sounds of the ‘x’ and ‘c’ in it.  It seems in comics and in life semantics kind of fly out the window and become an issue of what sounds better.  It’s my opinion so it must be right.

Think about it, it just wouldn’t be right for your mom to tell you as a child, “There’s no excuse to be afraid of the dark” and for the Red Skull to scream, “I WILL NOT TOLERATE REASONS!”.

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Questions That I REALLY Would Love To Have Answered

Let’s start by getting something out of the way; reading comic books forces you to turn your “Logic-Meter” off.  The fact that I have any questions goes against the whole point of comic books.  If I buy into the whole idea that a man can fly, can lift buildings, and is bullet-proof, I have no right to question anything else, right?  Wrong.

As geeks we have the right to choose whatever piece of fantasy we want and question it.  Call it a fringe benefit of geekdom.

“Out of this entire collection of logic defying pages and unrealistic fantasies I choose to pick just one fallacy, act as if it’s a fact, and question it.”

It’s my right as a nerd.

Come with me as I exercise my constitutionally guaranteed right to take an illogical situation and question it like it has a scientific basis in reality.

1.)  How do characters like Mr. Fantastic generate the money to finance things like the Baxter Building?

If I’ve missed the issues where Mr. Fantastic goes to work for the local Ice Cream Shoppe to earn a paycheck that allows him to finance expeditions to the negative zone, please tell me.

2.)  Do people like Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne have “selective IQ”?

If you need a detailed plan to defeat every member of the Justice League or the plans for creating and building “Anti-Transformer” armor, Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark can do it.  We’ve even seen the creation of Shark Repellant and a supremely intelligent AI systems like Jarvis from that same duo.  Yet, Tony can’t find a way to keep a lone piece of shrapnel from killing him and Bruce can’t figure out a way to keep the Joker locked up for more than 15 minutes at a time.  Odd.

3.)  In one storyline we see The Thing with two kids, both with the same rocky exterior as their old man.

How did he and his wife...I mean how big of an epidural did she...the kids appeared to be twins, how were they...I think you know where I’m going with this.  The whole act of consummation, and the 9 months following, were probably as difficult as me asking about it.

4.)  What really happened at the end of “The Killing Joke”?

Oh, right, like you know the answer.  (C’mon, just tell me, plllllleeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee!!!!)

5.)  Are there really any other superheroes necessary than Hulk and Zatanna?

Since everything she says backwards becomes a reality and it appears that nothing whatsoever can hurt Hulk, why doesn’t he just guard her as she casts spells?  Once she says, “syug dab eht fo dir teG” then, “kluH eht evlossiD”  There could just be a Zatanna series about how she is the ruler of a peaceful planet, then after 3 weeks it could be discontinued due to boredom, and that would be that.

6.)  What insurance companies would still be willing to insure Gotham, Metropolis, Star City, the Baxter Building, etc. after all this time?

What Civil War really should have been about was the insurance companies arguing about who would insure all of these places and what the deductibles would be.  Couldn’t you see them arguing about what wasn’t covered?  And, how overworked would the insurance adjusters be?

7.)    With few exceptions, such as Captain Marvel dying of cancer, why don’t we see more everyday issues plaguing the heroes and villains?

Why don’t we see Flash wearing a knee brace or having tendonitis?  How does Batman not have arthritis in his back by now?  Does a Green Lantern every need a ring resized?  Does Killer Croc ever get pruney skin because he’s in the water too long?  Why doesn't Namor ever get ‘swimmer’s ear’?  Shouldn’t Iron Man rust at some point?  Why doesn’t Spider-Man or Black Panther have problems breathing through their facemask?  

So, I get an overdose of gamma radiation, bitten by a radioactive spider, see my parents gunned down in front of me, or shot from an exploding planet and I don’t suffer the indignities of the human condition anymore?  Sign me up!

8.)  How many mutants are there and, for that matter, how many X-Men are there?

In the Marvel Universe it seems that, as a mutant, if you aren’t an X-Man or working for Magneto, you don’t exist.  I think if you eliminate everyone who is not an Avenger, a former Avenger, an X-Person, or in some way connected to X-People, there may only be 2 or 3 people left on earth.  I truly think that’s why Marvel was eventually forced to do AvX.  There was no-one else.

9.)  Is there really any logical explanation as to why Alan Scott (the old, old, old Green Lantern) had a ring that had no effect on wood?

I’ve read the explanation a couple of times and I am still baffled.  Is there a wood expert in the house?

Listen, I wasn’t hired for my good looks or my brains.  Frankly, I wasn’t hired at all, that’s why I run the place.

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Relationships, Past and Present, In The Marvel Universe

It may appear to be frightfully unoriginal of me to reproduce the work of others (hey, c’mon, I don’t do it that often) but if someone has done it perfectly why reinvent the wheel?  I just want to assure you that this is NOT my creation, but I am a big fan of it.

Here's an infographic from WebHostingBuzz outlining every kiss, relationship, and marriage that has ever occurred between Marvel superheroes.   SPOILER ALERT:  Wolverine has the most.  (I told you there was a spoiler alert.)

(and, is it me or have there been far too many characters who’ve been in a relationship with Vision and....hold on...someone actually actually dated Toad?  And when did She-Hulk marry Man-Wolf?  This whole thing is rather disturbing...)

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So, Who Owns The Rights To What Comic Characters At This Point?

With all of the nonsense going on with movie studios and publishing houses it can be horribly confusing which characters belong to who right now.  In an effort to clear this whole thing up I will lay out what was compiled by The Geek Twins as of February of 2015.  Although a couple of changes have taken place since then, this is still a pretty accurate depiction.  The pictograph was also created by The Geek Twins for your edification.

Without further ado, here is who has the rights to who:

Here's a more detailed breakdown of some of the specific characters, not all, owned by each studio via The Geek Twins:

20th Century Fox

Doctor Doom
Human Torch (Johnny Storm)
Invisible Woman
Mr. Fantastic
The Thing
Alicia Masters
Willie Lumpkin
Puppet Master
Silver Surver
Nova (Frankie Raye)
Galactus
Cable
Scarlet Witch
Quicksilver
Deadpool
Agent Zero
Angel
Angel Salvadore
Arclight
Azazel
Banshee
Beast
Bishop
Callisto
Colossus
Cyclops
Darwin
Deadpool
Deathstrike
Emma Frost
Erik Lehnsherr
Gambit
Harada
Havok
Iceman
Jason Stryker
Jean Grey
John Wraith
Jubilee
Juggernaut
Katherine Pryde
Kenuichio Harada
Kid Omega
Lady Deathstrike
Landry Jones Cassidy
Leech
Lord Shingen
Lucas Bishop
Magneto
Mariko Yashida
Moira MacTaggert
Multiple Man
Mystique
Nightcrawler
Norubo Mori
Phoenix
Professor X
Psylocke
Pyro
Quill
Riptide
Rogue
Sabretooth
Sebastian Shaw
Shingen Yashida
Silverfox
Storm
The Blob
Toad
Viper
Wolverine
Yashida
Yukio
Man-Thing

These are some of the Marvel characters Sony Pictures will now share with Marvel Studios:

Spider-Man
Doctor Octopus
Green Goblin
Harry Osborn
The Lizard
Sandman
Venom
Betty Brant
Dennis Carradine (Buglar)
J. Jonah Jameson
Ben Parker
May Parker
John Jameson
Joseph “Robbie” Robertson
Mary Jane Watson
Gwen Stacy
Mendel Stromm
Flash Thompson
Black Cat
Rhino
Elektro

Again, please keep in mind that this compilation is NOT my work.  I am merely sharing it as a solution to a question I get asked over and over again.  Many thanks to The Geek Twins for sorting this out.

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When Michael Tried to Buy Marvel

Some of you may not know this but Marvel was courted by numerous buyers in the past, the oddest of which was Michael Jackson.  Yes, THE Michael Jackson.  And when I say “oddest” I don’t mean he was odd as a person, I meant the reason he wanted to buy Marvel was odd.

As most of you know (and if you don’t I’m stunned) Michael Jackson was a phenom for most of his life.  He started performing in his early childhood and was considered “The King of Pop” until the day he passed.

As you also know, Michael was famous for making interesting purchases and attempting to make interesting purchases.  For instance, you know that he had his own amusement park at his home and that he purchased the copyrights to The Beatles’ music catalogue.  You are also probably aware of the rumors of him offering to buy the “Elephant Man’s” bones.  What you may not know is that Michael wanted to buy Marvel as well, but for reasons that go a little beyond the ordinary.  Here’s what happened:

Although Michael was known for his popularity in the 80’s, he was also hugely popular in the 90’s.  During that time Batman was reigning in the cinemas and Marvel was struggling to make ends meet.  Frankly, Marvel was doing just about everything wrong.  In order to try for a few wins Marvel was trying to get the Spider-Man and X-Men movie projects underway.

For the Spider-Man movie, Marvel was talking to James Cameron.  Who they weren’t talking to was Michael Jackson, who desperately wanted to be cast as Spider-Man.  Yes, THE Michael Jackson wanted to be Spider-Man.  Can you picture that?  If not, here’s some help:

(Author’s note:  these pictures are NOT my handiwork...thankfully.)

As Michael knew this was NOT going to happen without him having some clout at Marvel, he decided to try to buy it.  After all, Marvel was facing bankruptcy at the time anyway, so why wouldn’t they consider him a potential suitor?  

As a quick aside, Michael’s rationale may not have been on target here.  You see, the owner of the company doesn’t get to make casting decisions, the Director and the studio get to do that.  Licensing the property to the studio does not a Casting Director make.  Perhaps he would buy Marvel and make himself the Director?  Who knows.

But I digress.

Michael decided to pursue the purchase and started to build a relationship with Stan Lee Media.

If you’re not familiar with Stan Lee Media’s origin, here’s a review.  Stan Lee Media was born out of an effort between Stan Lee and a business partner to buy Marvel outright.  This came from the fact that a new CEO has screwed Stan out of everything he negotiated with Marvel over the years.  This included a life-time salary in exchange for Lee not pursuing legal claims of ownership of the characters he created.  This is why Stan Lee Media (who Stan Lee no longer has any affiliation with) seems to think they can make legal claims to Stan’s characters.  They argue that Stan’s contract with Marvel was terminated, along with the stipulation that he couldn’t sew them for ownership.  I won’t go into any further detail because I either don’t know it or it’s too much extra content for this article (you decide).

Again, I digress.

Michael went to Stan hoping that Stan could throw his weight around and secure him, and his production company Kingdom Entertainment, the rights to produce a Spider-Man movie.  In fact, Michael secured a promise from Lee that if Michael purchased Marvel, Lee would help him run it.  In a further effort to get the ball rolling, Jackson hired a financial firm to help with the negotiations.

The problem was that Toy Biz CEO Ike Perlmutter (Toy Biz being the company that owned Marvel at the time) and Lee were not on the best of terms.  So, the fact that Lee was going to help run the company for potential owner Jackson, did not sit well with Ike.  To try to kibosh the deal Ike did what any vindictive owner would do, he raised the price to $1 billion (WAY more than Marvel was worth at the time).

Jackson decided to walk away.  The rest is history...Toy Biz sold to Disney for $4 billion (about 30% more than what the company was valued at at the time of the sale).

To add to the whole weird scenario it should be noted that Spider-Man wasn’t the only character for which Michael had lobbied.  He also wanted to play Professor X in the X-Men movie (eventually played by Patrick Stewart).  

(Author’s other note...this picture isn’t my handiwork either...thankfully.)

He also wanted to be “Agent M” in Men in Black 2.  As a consolation prize, Michael got a cameo  as himself in the MIB2.  Not quite what he had hoped for, but at least it was something.

10 Facts About the Internet Guaranteed to Astound You

With comic books now available online, advertising comic books being online, and the ability to find out ANYTHING about comic books online, it’s time we took a look at the history and facts about being online.

Here are 10 Facts About the Internet Guaranteed to Astound You (well....they astounded me)

1.)  There are 47 BILLION websites including the first one that was created 24 years ago (can you tell me the site?).  There’s no telling how many are filled with adult content but one would think there is at least a billion.

2.)  There are 3.2 BILLION Internet users worldwide accounting for almost 44% of the global population.  Almost half of the Internet users are based in Asia.  The other half are sitting in a Starbucks or a Panera Bread at this very moment.

3.)  There are 950 MILLION households worldwide with a television, but twice as many people access the internet with a handheld device.  In fact, I just realized that my handheld device is also a telephone!  That is so cool!

4.)  YouTube visitors view 6 BILLION hours of video each month and over 300 minutes of video are uploaded every second.  80% of those visitors are from outside the U.S.  No wonder world opinion about the U.S. is so questionable.

5.)  There are 1.49 BILLION people on Facebook who use the social media site an average of 21 minutes every day.  Those same people also share 1.3 MILLION pieces of content every minute.  Whether the content is interesting or not is another story completely.

6.)  Facebook accounts for the highest percentage of total time spent on mobile apps at 18 percent.  When you add Facebook Messenger and Instagram the total reaches 22.4 percent.  The second highest percentage spent on mobile apps is on Pandora, which account for 10.5 percent.  Say bye-bye to Pandora if Facebook develops a music streaming service.

7.)  Between 5 and 10 MILLION iOS apps are downloaded every day and more than 100 BILLION total apps had been downloaded as of June 2015.  I am positive that if you subtract out the apps I’ve downloaded both numbers would be dramatically lower.

8.)  In 2015 we will send and receive 205.6 BILLION emails, 60% of which will be spam (all of which land in my mailbox).

9.)  It is estimated that 1 TRILLION photos will be taken in 2015.  In 2000 there were only a measly 86 BILLION taken.  I’d love to see a study on how many of those are selfies.

10.)  The web as we know it--Facebook, Amazon, Wikipedia, etc.---represents only 1 percent of the total discoverable web.  The remainder is what is referred to as the “deep web”, an area not discoverable by standard search engines.  It is also the final resting place for all of the socks that I have lost and, occasionally, my car keys.

Think about it for a minutes, it took the telephone 75 years to reach 50 million users.  It only took the internet 4 years.  It only took Angry Birds 35 days.

So, the next time you are cursing your tablet or smartphone for taking more than 5 seconds to download a song remember that it is a staggering accomplishment that you can do it at all.


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