A Public Service Announcement - Some Things Written In Comics Aren’t True

This is a Public Service Announcement from 
The Comic Whisperer.

Through years of reading and experimentation I have found that NOT all the things you read in comic books are true!  This probably comes as a surprise to all of you.  It’s OK, I was shocked as well.

True, there are some things in comic books that have been accepted as universal truths.  You know, the standard stuff:

• Be strong, ethical and true to yourself so you can serve as an example to others
• The good guys tend to win in the end
• Brains can beat brawn
• Work as well on your own as you do on a team
• Mutants and humans will never live together peacefully

They are valuable tidbits of truth to be taken to heart.

But, which of the time honored lessons taught by comic books are falsehoods?  They never make it obvious, so I had to learn for myself.  I did so by attempting some of the things I considered facts and, in some cases, paid a great physical price.

Since I am now fully recovered (and have full use of my hands again) I have compiled a list of things that comics teach that are NOT true (you’re welcome):

• It’s possible to reduce my body fat to 1% and look like a Greek god.
• Putting on a cape will keep me from plummeting 20 stories from a hotel window.
• I can breathe fine in a mask with no holes for the mouth and nose.
• Covering myself in random chemicals will give me super powers.
• Someone dressed as a bat will keep me from getting mugged in New York.
• I can walk into a police station dressed in flashy pajamas and get instant respect.
• Inhaling a gas of unknown content will activate my Inhuman gene.
• Setting myself ablaze gains me instant membership into the Invaders or the Fantastic 4.
• Shooting a bow and arrow in the middle of a crowded city is OK.

And

• I can taunt the police, get arrested, and easily break out of jail.

I sincerely hope that reading this will help you sort out the lies from the truth.  You owe me one.  

This was a public service announcement from 

The Comic Whisperer.

And please don’t write in asking me if any of this is true.  It is.  There’s a hotel chain that won’t let me stay in ANY of its locations anymore and I’m told the 10 people hit by arrows are recovering nicely.  OF COURSE IT’S NOT TRUE.

Follow The Comic Whisperer on Social Media!

Facebook:                       The Comic Whisperer

Pinterest:                        The Comic Whisperer

Twitter:                           @comic_whisperer

Website:                          www.comicwhisperer.com

I Put the “Needy” in "New Release Wednesday"

If I look at myself honestly, I can say that I’m not a real special guy by any stretch of the imagination.

I don’t put the “fun” in “funeral”

or

the “laughter” in “manslaughter”

or

even the “riot” in “Iron Patriot”

but I DO put the “needy” in “New Release Wednesday”  (OK, it’s a stretch but what can I say?  I’m needy.)

You and I probably have one thing in common, it’s that our week is filled with the following recipe:

           -Wake Up
           -Go to Work
           -Come Home
           -Go to Sleep
           -Repeat 

So, I literally NEED Wednesdays and the new releases that come on that day.

But, as a comic collector/lover/reader how do you maximize your Wednesdays with the local comic book emporium?  Here’s how I do it:

Start by making a list of all the comics you simply must have.  Your list can be as small or as big as your wallet can afford.  My list is big enough that I am trying to work out some way for the comic store to just do payroll deduction so my bill comes straight from my paycheck.  (Just kidding, although the idea has merit.)

Then go to your favorite website that advertises the new releases for the coming week(s).  My personal favorite is www.comiclist.com.  Tell them The Comic Whisperer sent you.  It won’t get you any type of discount or special treatment but it’ll sure make me feel good.

Check the list(s) which are sorted by publisher and see which comics on your list are coming out this week.  Make a shopping list for yourself or a “pull” list for your local comic shoppe.  (As you are probably aware, a “pull” list is a list of comics which you would like the store to set aside for you weekly.  Some stores even offer a discount if you have them pull for you weekly and pay for them weekly.  What they don’t offer is a “pull them weekly, never pay for them” plan.)

If you don’t want every issue offer to send the list of your weekly picks to the local comic store  proprietor and ask them to put the specific comics you wish to purchase aside.

Then, when Wednesday shows its beautiful face, go to the store and pick up your books! (don’t forget to pay for them, many stores frown on stealing)

If you are a collector there is a pretty good chance that if someone even touches your new comics or, God forbid, bends them, you blow a gasket.  That’s why, with my Marvel comics, I just enter the digital comic redemption code and read it on my iPad.  I then do my weekly chuckle at DC for their thought that I will purchase both a physical AND digital version (another of the many dumb decisions by the DC bean counters.)

But I digress...

Last, if you don’t do so already, you can keep track of your collection as it grows.  I highly recommend doing so on a site such as www.comicbookrealm.com if you don’t mind having it just online.  If you want to use an app to keep track, my personal favorite is a comic inventory app put out by CLZ at www.clz.com.  It’s available on the iOS platform, I’m not sure about Android.

One last thing, keep a list of the specific comics you miss, or don’t get that week, so you can shop for them at the next ComicCon!

Follow The Comic Whisperer on Social Media!

Facebook:              The Comic Whisperer
Twitter:                  @comic_whisperer
Pinterest:                The Comic Whisperer
Website:                 www.comicwhisperer.com